B- 11-7-22

Beatitude, the gift of the immediate presence of God is with every human person separated from their physical bodies by criminal violence. Although evil hurts the human hearts of crime victims, their loved ones and their communities, it cannot fracture that lamp within their spirit that will survive here or beyond.

In July 1995, an awful tragedy struck Remus, the Tower Family and the whole of Mecosta County. People were lost of their own thoughts. Their hearts and minds grasp for hope that three weeks later would never bring. The deaths of Ron and Paul was an unnecessary and unthinkable act. As my criminal trial for the murders of two of my Father’s brothers Ronald and Paul Tower went on, the pain of our families only continued to be absorbed in deep interior wounds. For many, these painful wounds and memories still exist today.

There are no bad victims in this world. There is no place for blaming or attacking crime victims or their families. Ron and Paul were beautiful loving people, from a loving family, who never harmed a soul. They only knew good and only did good. I am certain today they are living in God’s presence and sharing in His glory, a reflection of their lives.

My loving Father passed away while I was awaiting trial. A hard working man and a loyal brother to Ron and Paul who became very spiritually open before he passed. What can a person do for the loved ones and a community that suffered such a loss at your own decisions? I think what my Father would say would be to fix the problem. The problem is present in most communities. People get off track and end up having a myriad of problems that hurt others from words to death. Our society has created distance between people. When people and families have problems they generally do not expose those problems to others. No one wants to be labeled with mental illness. Today, we know there is help for people. We only need to find those who need help. That is not saying everyone has a diagnosable mental illness. We need to listen, be aware and respond when we see someone who is troubled or making poor decisions.

For myself, not having the same ability as others especially in making decisions under stress or understanding how other people think and how they feel led to unthinkable downward spiral of horrible decision making. Actions that can never be reversed. I should have noticed this at a much younger age and found someone who I could have received feedback from. Apparently, when things seem normal to yourself, you do not see what other people see. I learned about people who have neurological problems. As I learned, I was surprised to find so many of these characteristics in my history and behavior. When I grew up, I thought I was just a shy kid. In reflecting back, I realized my thinking and actions were not apparent to me, but I was missing something. In learning about neural diversity I discovered a lot about myself. You have to listen more and think longer to pick up on other peoples intentions and their emotions. You also have to have a support system to obtain feedback from. My approach to what I perceived as me just being a “shy kid,” was to just drive straight through life and achieve everything I could. That was the wrong approach, as I was completely incapable of that. That led to disaster and had an unthinkable and unmeasurable impact on people I dearly love. If I were in opposite shoes, I would certainly feel the hurt and anger in our family.

I can only ask for forgiveness. Whether it is given or not is not my decision and I can certainly understand why someone would never want to. I can only move forward in life. Saint Francis De Sales said that if you want a good reputation keep doing the right thing and eventually you will have it.

In the movie “Saving Private Ryan,” at the end when half dead Tom Hanks was propped up against the wall addressing his last words to Private Ryan, he said: “Earn it.” That is exactly what I intend to spend the rest of my life doing. “Earning it.” It is so profoundly important to me to find a way to make an impact. To reach out to people early. To reduce the number of people who are victims of crime, especially violent crime. To influence those already in the criminal justice system to take a different path.

In our justice system, we pit one party against another. There is wall of separation. There is only one path to take and that is to battle it out. I think that is wrong. I think the first thing should be healing and educating the victim and offender about the other and empathy. I think an advocate that is well trained should provide this education as early as possible in every case. The justice system would move far more quickly and have better outcomes for both victims and offenders.

May Remus, the Tower Family and Mecosta County live in peace and find trust and safety in the justice system. May offenders become more aware of the impact of their decisions and resolve their cases with compassion towards victims.